Sep 19 2008
Where Do You Draw The Line On Grandma and Grandpa’s Opinion?
First of all, I wanted to let you all know that Hudson’s dentist appointment went well. The gray stains on his teeth were from the iron in his formula and due to the fact that the formula is soy. The buildup along the gum-line was plaque because I was using a fingertip toothbrush. The fingertip toothbrushes do not really have bristles and do not remove plaque (I didn’t know I was using the wrong thing). They cleaned Hudson’s teeth and they are beautiful! I’ve never seen two little teeth more beautiful than his! He hated the entire experience until the end where they gave him a rubber ducky for the bathtub and some ice-cream!
Ok, on to today’s topic. The inspiration for my topic tonight is my wonderful, nagging mother! We went to my parent’s house tonight and she must have asked 10 times if Hudson could spend the night (which she already knows doesn’t happen unless mommy stays too or it’s a major emergency). Anyway, I finally had to say to her that she is teaching Hudson a habit that he will be punished for and that is persistence when you’ve already been given an answer. Mark and I strongly believe that Hudson can ask for something once and when he’s told no, consequences will come if he asks again.
Another problem we have is that my mom (or dad) does not think he should be disciplined for doing anything unless it is something he can be hurt doing. In my opinion, naughtiness hurts him in the long run. I will do my best to not have the kind of child that people hate to see coming!
In our house, we do not move things that Hudson shouldn’t touch, we just teach him not to touch the things he’s not supposed to. I refuse to put the things away that I displayed before he was born so that he doesn’t have to get his hand popped.
Where do you draw the line on grandparent’s opinions? I am really thankful for any advice my mom can give me on raising my child because she’s been there and done that. But, I was never properly disciplined so I do not feel like this is an area where she can help me. Even if I had been disciplined, I still don’t think I could take advice from her because grandparents seem to be totally different with their grandchildren than with their own children.
It’s bad enough when my parent’s or in-laws try to tell me what I should and shouldn’t allow my child to do but it’s really bad when someone who is just an acquaintance or even a perfect stranger tries to give you advice! I do have to add to this that I really don’t have very much of a problem with my in-laws where this is concerned. It may be the fact that they live 950 miles away but I’d like to think that it’s because they respect Mark and I as Hudson’s parents.
I am a very firm believer that no two children can be disciplined the exact same way. What works for some will not work for others. I am also a very firm believer in spankings as well. When I say spanking, I do not mean beating or being cruel or negligent. We do pop Hudson’s hand and we will begin to pop his leg when he is naughty or into something that he should be. I believe that we do not do our children any favors by “sparing the rod” (by the way, the Bible doesn’t say, “spare the rod, spoil the child” it says, “spare the rod, hate the child.” I will show my child love in this way 
Do any of you have issues with your parents or with your spouse’s parents when it comes to them either butting in, giving unwanted opinions, or being persistent about something when they’ve already been told the answer? Has anyone ever had just an acquaintance or even a perfect stranger give you their opinion of what you should do with your own child? I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this subject!
3 Responses to “Where Do You Draw The Line On Grandma and Grandpa’s Opinion?”
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This is an annoying problem that starts when you’re pregnant and never stops! My parents don’t give advice but my mom has been known to let my son do absolutely whatever he wants. Last week she let him drag a giant inflatable boat from her pool into her living room. I told him it had to stay outside and she tried to argue it was no big deal. A giant, wet, dirty plastic boat not a big deal? It’s funny in a way but I worry that in the long run in will cause trouble. We’ve had the talk several times but she doesn’t seem to get it . . .
Hi mountainmom, thanks for visiting my blog! Unfortunately, sometimes I think you have to be very blunt. I have had to tell my mom that when my husband or I say something, it is what goes. She has been told that if anyone tries to go against that (including her) our son’s time with that person will be limited. It is sometimes hard to do but it is best for your child in the long run. Thanks again for visiting and I hope you come by again soon!
I have to say overall both sets of parents are pretty good with not intervening with our discipline. Although my mom will sometimes not be as hard on Alannah as I would like her to be, but I just remind her what Brian and I do with her and she’s for it. What helps is that they know that we discipline our children out of love and they did the same with us.